BEING HONEST.

Anyone who read this...

would think I am feeling some kind of negative emotion all the time.
That isn't quite the case.

Lately, I just usually only write on here if I don't know who to talk to. Haha, so I write to nothing, but at least I can get my feelings out. I voted on putting a simple list of things that I'm thinking about right now.

-People confuse me.

-Change is hard for me.

-I live in the past too much. As in, I spend time dwelling on past memories.
(Even though I remember the good ones, I think they tend to just make me sadder)

-I'm embarassed that I just yelled at my family.

-I wish I had someone to talk to right now.

-I've been feeling sick lately and I wonder if it has anything to do with what I'm going through. I get shortness of breath and sometimes I feel nauseous.
(Maybe thoughts are more powerful than I think)

-Sometimes I wish I could read people's minds.
(then again, I would probably hate that so much if I actually could)

-Unfortunately, the thoughts I could see into would probably make me feel even crappier.

-So, I will just analyze people myself. That keeps me busy.
(And it's also a pretty big waste of time)

-I've realized that I get jealous pretty easily.

-I wish that whenever I wanted to talk to someone, I could. And they would be willing to talk with me too and be open and real.
(I wish people were open and real more often)

-I love conversation.

-I love when people are interested in what is going on with me.
(I'm selfish)

-Sometimes I just sit here and imagine how great it would be to go somewhere and just [forget about everything] for a little while.

-The "somewhere's" I always think about include:
sitting on a roof on a night when the stars are all out
being in the mountains, but warm and comfortable
laying on the beach and listening to the waves crash
curled up in a blanket anywhere
laying in a field of flowers on a day when the sun is just right

-It'd be nice to have a friend with me so we could embrace the peacefulness together.
(I really love the company of people.
Those that I feel understand me)

-I am a huge loser.
(That's okay)

-Sometimes it's hard to just be with myself.
(I should probably get used to it)

-I love when I hear songs where the lyrics seem like something I could write at the time.
(if I could ever write a song)
That is when music is amazing to me. I love listening to the words. It makes me know that someone else has felt the same was as me at some point in time.

-I also love reading quotes and other things people other than me have written.

-Making lists is what I will stick to for now.
(it's easier that way)

-Do people forget as easily as it seems they do?

-I am not good at forgeting.

posted by Emily @ 9:56 PM