It's about time.
Do I ever write here?
No.
Obviously.
But!
I am sitting in Big Bear
(second legitimate family "vay-cay" that I remember!)
except it's 12:45 AM and everyone is tired.
So here I am on blogspot because not many other websites are functioning properly.
I decided to comment on my changes.
Because boy, have they been great.
Here I am after 9 long months:
I have learned a ton about this whole loving God, loving myself, loving others deal that seemed so out of reach at one point in my life. I would say that I am actually passionate about things. So many things that I have tried lately make me so happy. Not just happy but I've experienced: tears of joy, that great feeling in my heart when I am doing something I love, and also I've found myself in situations where I just cannot stop smiling. It's wonderful. I love my friends. Cliche? Sh sh. Hear me out on this one. What more could I want? I mean, a group of human beings who whole-heartedly seek God daily-it's beatiful to me. Yes, we aren't all perfect but it seems that for each of us-we have come to realize the times in which we personally stray away. Fortunately, this far, I haven't noticed anyone become okay with the apathy that sometimes comes up or the stagnancy that can sometimes makes its way into our lives. The desire to renew a strong relationship with God seems to always arise again. Honestly, thank you so much Savior of the world. You are amazing. Thank you for saving me and welcoming me back Home. (Thank you for inspiring Phil Wickham to write the song "Home" so that I could cry to it and realize how perfectly it described the Hope I desired at that sad time in my life). It's so incredible to me that I can sit here and type all of this when a year ago I sat typing out full pages of complaints and confusion. No, but really. (To be honest, it was quite relieving to vent and that little document will be quite fun to look at someday I am sure). I love that I am surrounded by people who want to love others the way Jesus calls us to. I am so excited to be able to go to Brazil with 3 of the most incredible girls I have ever met. We fit together like a puzzle-that's really the only way I can describe it, so good work Lord. Seriously. My family-delicious. Arguments-kept to a minimum. Self control-a work in progress but I do remain aware of my obnoxious outbursts and bratty comments that say Hello every now and then. I adore my small group. I love that there are girls that will open up about their temptations. Something that stands out to me is that they will be honest about when they drink. I know it sounds weird but to go from party-related dissension to being able to help girls who will be vulnerable and open about their struggles is really wonderful. God teaches me so much. He inspired me the other night to help this new friend of mine and the situation changed my life. A lot of things seem life-changing lately which is so great. But this incident in particular-God spoke to me. I could not ignore this burning desire in my heart to go be used. I was used in a way that no one else in the room could be. It was incredible. And I don't mention this story to, you know, "toot toot" that horn we all have, but to show that God does speak to us and there are times that He makes His purposes for us extremely clear. That's a lesson I have been learning lately. What a good one at that! My eyes are getting tired and if you read this, I am sure yours are too. But goodness. Life is wonderful. God is good. More than good but that encompasses a bunch of special adjectives. Passion can exist inside of me. What a relief! And please know Hope. Cling to Hope. And you cannot fail.
No.
Obviously.
But!
I am sitting in Big Bear
(second legitimate family "vay-cay" that I remember!)
except it's 12:45 AM and everyone is tired.
So here I am on blogspot because not many other websites are functioning properly.
I decided to comment on my changes.
Because boy, have they been great.
Here I am after 9 long months:
I have learned a ton about this whole loving God, loving myself, loving others deal that seemed so out of reach at one point in my life. I would say that I am actually passionate about things. So many things that I have tried lately make me so happy. Not just happy but I've experienced: tears of joy, that great feeling in my heart when I am doing something I love, and also I've found myself in situations where I just cannot stop smiling. It's wonderful. I love my friends. Cliche? Sh sh. Hear me out on this one. What more could I want? I mean, a group of human beings who whole-heartedly seek God daily-it's beatiful to me. Yes, we aren't all perfect but it seems that for each of us-we have come to realize the times in which we personally stray away. Fortunately, this far, I haven't noticed anyone become okay with the apathy that sometimes comes up or the stagnancy that can sometimes makes its way into our lives. The desire to renew a strong relationship with God seems to always arise again. Honestly, thank you so much Savior of the world. You are amazing. Thank you for saving me and welcoming me back Home. (Thank you for inspiring Phil Wickham to write the song "Home" so that I could cry to it and realize how perfectly it described the Hope I desired at that sad time in my life). It's so incredible to me that I can sit here and type all of this when a year ago I sat typing out full pages of complaints and confusion. No, but really. (To be honest, it was quite relieving to vent and that little document will be quite fun to look at someday I am sure). I love that I am surrounded by people who want to love others the way Jesus calls us to. I am so excited to be able to go to Brazil with 3 of the most incredible girls I have ever met. We fit together like a puzzle-that's really the only way I can describe it, so good work Lord. Seriously. My family-delicious. Arguments-kept to a minimum. Self control-a work in progress but I do remain aware of my obnoxious outbursts and bratty comments that say Hello every now and then. I adore my small group. I love that there are girls that will open up about their temptations. Something that stands out to me is that they will be honest about when they drink. I know it sounds weird but to go from party-related dissension to being able to help girls who will be vulnerable and open about their struggles is really wonderful. God teaches me so much. He inspired me the other night to help this new friend of mine and the situation changed my life. A lot of things seem life-changing lately which is so great. But this incident in particular-God spoke to me. I could not ignore this burning desire in my heart to go be used. I was used in a way that no one else in the room could be. It was incredible. And I don't mention this story to, you know, "toot toot" that horn we all have, but to show that God does speak to us and there are times that He makes His purposes for us extremely clear. That's a lesson I have been learning lately. What a good one at that! My eyes are getting tired and if you read this, I am sure yours are too. But goodness. Life is wonderful. God is good. More than good but that encompasses a bunch of special adjectives. Passion can exist inside of me. What a relief! And please know Hope. Cling to Hope. And you cannot fail.
posted by Emily @ 12:45 AM
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